Game 15: 2nd XI vs Bath 2nd XI, Home

With skipper out injured, Mr Spink has put his GCSE English to good use for your reading pleasure...

“The finest teas ever made. Probably even better than Downend.” Pasta bake AND pizza? Yes, you heard that correctly, the stuff that dreams are made of. Such culinary perfection really was the pinnacle of the day and even had Stov cracking a smile. Some cricket was also played either side of tea but I digress. With half of the roads leading to Failand shut by the balloon fiesta, the name ‘Fortress Failand’ has never been so apt. Bath fought through the blockade but were clearly weakened by their efforts and were turned back towards home with a heavy defeat to go with them.

Having clearly never heard of Play Cricket, Bath hadn’t noticed the troubling lack of runs faced by the 2nd XI when batting first and so elected to bat themselves as stand in skipper Hunt took on Leech’s inability to win a toss. Bristol had to wait just nine balls for a breakthrough as Spink, encouraged by the much more reliable and reassuring presence of Osman behind the stumps, bowled the overseas (even though the guy scored 0 and didn’t bowl he still contributed more than Lord who really should be jailed just for not getting any wickets again when he loves cricket more than anyone else, even Thommo). Fresh and full of new found fitness from jogging all week, Manders bowled a tightopening spell and had several adjacent looking appeals turned down, probably because Lord was shouting so much, idiot. Spink had the other opener well caught behind down the leg side, Osman really is a much better keeper than Leech. Even though Lord couldn’t get a wicket (despite the fact that he has been playing cricket for nearly 24 months straight and really should do better) everyone else did very well and wickets continued to fall. Fellowes, Panchal, Jones and Probert all picked up wickets as Bath tried, and failed, to administer the plow and were eventually bowled out for 175. Very good from Bristol, Stov even smiled again… a little bit.

Did I mention how good the tea was? No? Well, it was marvellous- Stov managed to give off the impression of a man who was vaguely content with life until he spotted the colossal amount of food on Manders’ plate.

So, flat pitch, outfield getting quicker, low target. Surely game in the bag. Half an hour later it was 18-2, Spink and Eagle out (although Stov said that if Toby had hit a full toss for 4 in the previous over Eagle would not have been clean bowled so it was completely his fault. Hmm…) A Bristol collapse beckoned and professional cricket watcher Leech’s head went to his hands, although this may have been as a result of Manders’ inability to distinguish between rugby and cricket. However, Osman decided that all of Bath’s players had been given enough fielding practice so now it was fair for him to hit boundaries. Osman played well for his 40 and Fellowes decided that he really, really didn’t rate the leg spinner and launched two sixes over the man at cow corner. Brewer was busy at the crease and set about chipping away at the total before he decided that Bath could really do with that extra bowling point. Fellowes and Hunt were less generous andfinished the job.

Lord (foolish for leaving his phone unlocked with Sheridan) then got very angry and tried to pick a fight with Rog on WhatsApp- rumoured to be the warm up act to McGregor vs Mayweather in two weeks’ time. Fortress Failand indeed. On to Brislington.